Tuesday 4 December 2012

Stepping out of a plane




He felt like he was jumping out of a plane, jumping into the unknown, a whole new world. Not that Bryan had ever taken a parachute jump, but he was sure that if he did he would be feeling exactly like this; sick, weak, dizzy, scared, bloody scared. It wasn’t so much as butterflies in his stomach as fully-grown Pterodactyls. He knew he’d made the right decision, and this was the first step towards embracing his new self. No more need for lies, no more pretending, he could be himself. But actually  there would be lies, there would be pretending, he’d told his wife he was off to play arrows with his mates, he’d told his mates he couldn’t play darts as his wife had booked tickets to a magic show. And it wasn’t a completely new world; he thought about the first time, all those years ago. Hidden in the trees with his brother’s friend, Jason. Led in an innocent boy, left there in tears, confused, guilty, but strangely excited. He’d known his true identity since then, but had suppressed it, tied it in a ball and pushed it so far inside his brain you’d need a magnifying glass to see it. But the time was right to unlock his secret, at least for himself. To use the key he had kept hidden but never thrown away. He heard the tap tap tap of the walking stick on the path. Jason had told him he used a stick now, Bryan closed his eyes, took a deep breath and stepped out of the plane.


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