Thursday 20 December 2012

The end of the world


Another rewrite of an old story. The original is below.
For audio click here 
Poor old Renee. For the first time in her life, she was really in love; that gormless grin on your face all day, every day, in love that she’d thought was just a myth. For Forty-two years she'd waited for Mr Right, Forty two years of Mr ‘wrongs’, Mr ‘just over the pass mark' and Mr ‘good enough to get you into your third choice university', but never before had she had 'Mr 100% perfect', until now that is. 
For three weeks her very own Mr Clooney had wined and dined her, taken her to the theatre and for moonlight strolls along Parisian boulevards. Okay, maybe she was exaggerating a little but, he had looks, charm, humour, money, brains, class, empathy, cleanliness, his own teeth and in the bedroom, well he made love like a tortoise; the perfect ten. 
But now, just as she had found happiness, the world was ending. It had been on the news for weeks of course; the end of the Mayan calendar but no one had believed it. The few believers hadn’t said exactly how the world would end, but December 21st was the day.  The bookies were offering odds; a meteorite hitting the earth was favourite but you could also get a price on a massive volcanic eruption, an alien invasion or the world shifting off its axis. She’d laughed it off like most people; even the NASA boffins had said it was all bullshit, and they'd know wouldn't they? 
But it really was happening; she could see the evidence with her own eyes. Despite it being 8 am, it was as dark as night. Lightning was flashing above and the shadow of a huge space rock was covering the earth. Why had the NASA people lied to them, they must have known? Maybe because they couldn’t do anything about it, they hadn't wanted to cause mass panic. She felt like a beetle about to be trodden by a huge radioactive shoe. For most people the worst part was the fact that they were powerless to do anything, but for Renee, the worst part was that Pierre had gone off on a business trip, so she didn't even have her man to hug. She was going to die alone after all.
Renee blamed her mother. She’d cursed her. How often had her mum said Renee was so fussy that the world would end before she found Mr Right. Her mother wasn't usually wrong, but this time she was; she'd been out by three weeks.





Poor old Renee, for the first time in her life she was really in love. For 42 years she'd waited for Mr Right. She'd endured 'Mr just over the pass mark' and 'Mr good enough to get you into your third choice university', but never before had she had 'Mr 100% perfect'. Until now that is. For three weeks her very own Mr Clooney had wined and dined her, taken her to the theatre and for moonlight strolls along Parisian boulevards. He had looks, charm, humour, money, brains, class, empathy, cleanliness, his own teeth and in the bedroom, well he made love like a tortoise; the perfect ten. But now, just as she had found happiness, the world was ending. It had been on the news for weeks of course; the end of the Mayan calendar, a meteoroid hitting the earth. But she'd laughed it off like most people and the NASA boffins had said it was all bullshit and they'd know wouldn't they? But it really was happening; she could see the evidence with her own eyes. Despite it being 8am it was as dark as night, lightning was flashing and the shadow of a huge space rock was covering earth. She supposed the NASA people had known all along, but knowing that they couldn’t do anything about it they hadn't wanted to cause mass panic. She felt like a beetle about to be trodden by a huge radioactive shoe. To make matters worse, Pierre had gone off on a business trip so she didn't even have her man to hug. Her mother had often said Renee was so fussy that the world would end before she found Mr Right. Her mother wasn't usually wrong but this time she was, she'd been out by three weeks.

4 comments:

  1. I would never think that making love like a tortosie is an advantage... but after thinking about it for a while, I might agree it is:)

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  2. How I wish it was the end of the world ,which would end this torture....

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  3. "He made love like tortoise" deserves the nomination for the favourite line

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