Toilet Doors - A Steve rant

Johnny sat enjoying the silence, Steve had gone to the toilet so that meant Johnny could just quietly take his new surroundings.  Their usual boozer was closed for reconstruction so Johnny and Steve had decided to try the Fountain on the High Street. It’s okay thought Johnny, nice staff, good beer and just the right amount of atmosphere. Johnny could see Steve coming back and the sparkle in his eye suggested Steve had a bee in his bonnet about something.

‘When I rule the world,’ Steve said before he had even sat down. ‘When I rule the world,’ he repeated with extra stress on the I. ‘you know what’ll be my first act.’

Johnny shook his head. ‘Tell me.’ he said with a roll of his eyes.

‘The first thing I’ll do when I rule the world is I’ll pass a law banning ambiguous signs on toilet doors.’ Steve sat back looking pleased with himself.

‘Really?’ countered Johnny, so you wouldn’t tax the bankers or try to eradicate poverty, your priority would be toilet doors?’

‘Yeah, it’s so bloody annoying when they put silly indistinguishable pictures on the doors, leaving you to guess which is which.’ Steve continued unperturbed by Johnny’s rebuke. ‘I almost went in the women’s just now. I realised at the last minute it was the wrong one.’

‘Why what’s on the doors that is so confusing?’

‘I’m not gonna tell you, when you go you’ll see and you’ll see I have a point. Why can’t they just write men and women on them.’

‘Probably catering to the foreigners, pictures are easier to understand than words.’

‘Fair point but not these ones, why not just simple pictures we all can understand. Not weird wacky trying to be clever nonsense.’

‘You might have a point Steve but I still don’t think it shouldn’t be the first thing to think about when you finally get asked to take over the running of the world.’ With that Johnny decided to go see for himself what Steve was wittering on about.

While Johnny was gone Steve quietly took his new surroundings. It’s okay thought Steve, nice staff, good beer and just the right amount of atmosphere. Steve could see Johnny coming back but the look on his face suggested something was wrong.

‘What’s up Johnny?’

‘You were right Steve they are ambiguous.’

‘I told you.’

‘Yeah and I only bloody went it the Women’s didn’t I?’