Wednesday 12 June 2013

The Qtips



Mirek let the fluid run out of him, he’d been waiting for the toilet for a good 10 minutes while two women were doing god knows what it there. To make it worse he’d been queuing next to some bloke called Steve who obviously had anger management issues and had been going through 5 reasons why he didn’t like house parties - although two had sounded pretty similar to Mirek.
As Mirek relaxed he saw a carton of cotton wool buds on the shelf above the loo, they reminded him he’d been meaning to buy some of those for about 4 weeks. As he put himself away and zipped up a plan was hatching in his mind. What harm would it do if he slipped a few of the buds into his pocket? Sandra, the host, would never notice, there were 400 in the carton and anyway she was too busy buzzing round mopping up spills to notice a few missing Qtips. He dried his hands and took about ten sticks and stuffed them into his pocket. Then as calmly as you like he unlocked the door, nodded at Steve who was hopping on the spot and went to find his drink.
The party was pretty good, whoever was controlling the music had great taste, the wine was good and what’s more Mirek was getting on splendidly with Marina and exotic looking friend of Sandra who he’d never seen before but damn well hoped he’d see again.
‘I’ve got to go home soon,’ Marina’s words were like a dagger to Mirek’s heart. It was all going so well. She pushed her spectacles up her nose and said coyly ‘but how do I find you?’ The words turned the dagger into a child’s toy, where the blade slides inside the handle when pressure is applied.
‘Well I could give you my number, or you could give me yours.’
The alcohol and the thrill of getting her number had made him forget all about the cotton wool buds in his pocket. As he hurriedly pulled out his phone a shower of Qtips rained down on the carpet in front of Marina.
‘What are they?’ Marina’s voice had lost its coy enthusiasm of a few moments earlier. Mirek looked at the carpet and then at the beauty in front of him, his brain blank, no explanation forthcoming.
‘Are they my Qtips?’ The unmistakable east coast drawl of Sandra filled the room. The eyes of all the partygoers were now firmly on Mirek.
‘Are you fucking stealing my stuff?’
Mirek’s brain was still empty, devoid of ideas of how he could explain away the situation. His face was burning red, everyone was waiting for an explanation. All he could think of doing was getting the hell out of there. So without a word, he made his way to the door and made his escape.
Mirek cursed himself, he’d made a dick of himself and missed out on getting Marina’s number, not that she want to see him now anyway. He was speed walking now, trying to put as much distance between himself and the scene of his humiliation as possible, as if distance would erase the memory, ease the embarrassment. But somewhere behind him he heard his voice being shouted. Should he turn round or keep walking?
The voice was getting louder; it was female and not American. He stopped and looked, behind him jogging towards him as best she could in her high heels was the beautiful Marina.
She caught him up and then tried to catch her breath.
‘It’s … it’s not just you...’ she smiled. ‘Look!’ she opened her bag to reveal a wedge of toilet paper, 3 cotton wool wipes and 5 Qtips. Mirek looked at her in amazement. She laughed, it was the naughtiest laugh Mirek had ever heard. He smiled.
‘Now how’s about that phone number,’ she said with a wink.
Mirek reached for his phone again and felt one last cotton wool bud in the bottom of his pocket.


1 comment:

  1. Miracles happen in your stories this week. What an optimistic mood:)

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