James Bond Dad

The traffic edged slowly along but out car stood still, my dad didn’t believe in moving unless he had to so edging forward 5 metres before applying the breaks again was not his modus operandi.  So we sat stationary in the inferno of a car while the impatient buggers behind us sounded their horns.

‘You won’t get there any quicker by beeping,’ my dad said matter of factly. He was right of course but one they couldn't hear him and two they wouldn't have seen his logic if they could. 

The sun shone through the windscreen making the car feel like a greenhouse, the windows were rolled down but the air was moving slower than the traffic. 

Everyone was panting like dogs and craning their necks to see if they could see what was causing this tailback but to no avail. Crabby was the word to describe the atmosphere; trouble was brewing. It'd been a long journey anyway but with this added delay nerves were gettig frayed. We longed to get going again so the movement breeze would hit our faces, cooling the temperature both literally and metaphorically. But the line of cars snaking off into the distance suggested the chance of proper movement anytime soon was low.  

My dad was drumming the steering wheel impatiently while the cricket commentators were describing another classy cover drive by a West Indian batsman. I shut my eyes and tried to imagine the Oval with all its colour and noise, but the sound of car horns and my sister saying she needed the toilet ruined the moment,  instead I started counting the cars moving freely in the opposite direction wishing we were going that way.

‘Bugger this.’ My dad had stopped drumming and had put the car into gear. We kids in the back were stunned into silence as he moved forward and then turned the wheel hard right, mounting the central reservation steering the car into the smallest of gaps in the barrier and bouncing down onto the tarmac on the other carriageway before speeding off. The wind rushed into the car, blowing away the crankiness and bringing with it excited laughter. Unbelievably Dad had just done a James Bond move and we couldn’t wait to tell our friends when we got home.