Friday 31 January 2014

iOS 7 - A Steve rant.



Remember you can find all of Steve’s Rants here

Johnny ordered two beers and watched the door, he was a little apprehensive, he was not sure he could handle Steve in that happy mood again. Johnny hoped the positive frame of mind would be ephemeral and tonight Steve would be back to his derisive, obdurate self. Johnny still wasn’t sure if he had been dreaming last week while Steve was extolling the virtues of the Proclaimers, it was just so unlike him. But as soon as he saw the door swing open and his friend walk in Johnny realised he needn’t have worried. Steve had a face like a thunder and Johnny knew his grumpy friend was laden with new woes.

‘Have you seen this? Charming thought Johnny, not even a hello. Steve was holding out his iPhone with the screen illuminated for Johnny to look at.
‘It’s an iPhone?’ Johnny said with a smile, Steve shot him a frigid stare that even by his standards Johnny found slightly disconcerting.
‘Oh you’ve finally upgraded to the new operating system. You don’t like it I presume.’
‘Don’t like it,’ said Steve, ‘I hate it, abhor it, it’s awful. It’s like a 7 year old child has scribbled on a page and those meddlesome boffins at Apple have hailed him a genius and copied his design. But actually that's being a bit harsh on seven year olds.’
‘You’ll get used to it.’ Johnny said knowing that that was not the end of the rant.  
‘Yeah so they say, but it’s horrible, it’s so disconcerting and it looks so childish.’
‘It’s not that bad,’ said Johnny 'it’s pretty logical when you get used to it.’
‘I’d love to know who is culpable for this. But we know don’t we, we know that these older phones can handle the new software, so they’ll slow down and we’ll have to buy new one.’
Johnny hadn’t realised it before but this kind of anger Steve reserved only for his conspiracy theories.
‘They’re devious bastards.’ said Steve.  They know exactly what they’re doing. Just a clever way to make us part with our money. And the clever thing is that they’ve manipulated up to make us believe that change is good, that’s really ingenious, so it looks like they are doing us a favour. But change isn’t good, whatever happened to that old maxim, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it?’

Johnny smiled, he could see Steve’s ire was beginning to wane but it was good to have the old zealot friend back.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome again good old Steve:) His behaviour last week was just unnatural and I have started to worry....:):)

    ReplyDelete