Dilemmas

I've had the weirdest few days, topped off by the most surreal conversation I’ve ever had, with the woman who has just left the cafe I’m sitting in writing this. I must admit I was pretty surprised to hear from Leah. We’d nearly dated about 5 years ago but we’d dillied and dallied and then she’d met Rob and immediately fallen wildly in love. We’d seen each other a few times after they’d started dating but neither of us’s  hearts weren’t in it. If we weren't to be lovers, there was no enthusiasm to be friends. So we drifted apart like people do, bumping in to each other now and again, sharing a coffee once or twice but nothing special.

So when she phoned me and wanted to chat to me. I wondered what was up, I wondered if her and Rob had split up and she was looking for a rebound relationship. But no, it was something much less run of the mill than that.

 Over latte and cheesecake, Leah very matter of factly asked me if I would consider being the father of her child. Apparently Rob and her were having problems in that area and she didn't want to go through IVF and well, she’d thought of me. I was full of questions, I asked her why she thought of me, if Rob knew, how she imagined it working.  

She said she knew I was single, I looked a bit like Rob, she knew I wasn't keen of having my own kids and also she’d always kind of fancied me. Then she dropped her voice and explained it would be our secret, we’d meet when it was the best time to conceive and hopefully produce a little miracle for Rob. She pointed out she’d be doing it with Rob as the same time as well, just so no suspicions would be aroused.

I sat back and puffed out my cheeks. I said I'd think about it. 

Now you might think that is a bit strange, but for me it was un-bloody-believable. You see, just yesterday I was sitting in this exact same cafe with my old friend Toni! I'd known Toni since university when she'd introduced herself as ‘Toni with an i,’ I still call her that now.  We were drinking latte, she was eating cheesecake, chatting about nothing much when out of the blue she asked if I'd consider helping her get pregnant. 

I'd looked at her in amazement, she was married to the other person who was there when she'd introduced herself to me all those years ago, my best friend Marc with a C. Marc, Antonia, that always cracked me up. They’d started dating almost immediately and got married 4 weeks after graduation.

AgainI was full of questions, I asked her if they were having problems in that area, why she thought of me, if Marc knew, how she imagined it working.  

There were no problems she replied, and then she explained that Marc's was bit of a, she used a word I won't repeat here. I had to agree, Marc used to have a hell of a temper and could be pretty selfish although he’d got better with age.

She then brought up the subjective of Marc’s dad.  Marc could be a tosser but he was generally was okay. But his dad was dangerous, an obsessive-compulsive, violent alcoholic.  So Toni continued to explain to me how she loved Marc and thought he’d make a great father but that she was scared to continue that gene pool.  I nodded, I agreed, but could I do that? Could I betray my best friend and secretly be the father of his child? 

‘Why me? I asked. 

‘Well cos, you're you.’ She’d replied rather cryptically, explaining how she planned to use a cap with Marc while going unprotected with me. He’d never know!

So that's where I am now. Decisions to make. My whole being says I should say no but something is making me want to say yes. I just don't know, what would you do?