The Group Photo

That awful day had arrived, the day when the boss insisted on the staff photo. That’s not that bad you might think but this was an annual event and it meant everyone trooping off to the local photo studio to be pushed around by an apprentice photographer while his master issued baffling instructions. To make matters worse they all had to have a light and a dark shirt and could be asked to change clothes at any moment. Finally when the photographer was ready, his gofer would move out of the way and they would all have to adorn their fake smiles for the camera and eventually the outside world.

They were fake smiles too, Kev had not seen one genuine smile in the office for weeks on end, everyone was overworked, underpaid and had no respect for each other. Yet to the public at large they were the happiest looking team in in the world - thanks to this annual ritual.

For Kev it was harder this year than usual. Problems at home meant that summoning a fake smile was nigh on impossible but also he’d put on weight since last year, he felt he had out grown his own skin let alone his clothes. He felt dumpy and frumpy, not fit for purpose. The last thing he needed was to have his photo taken and be reminded of the decline from the last year. To top it off he really wanted to leave this job, but with the upheaval at home and the economic uncertainty he didn’t quite have the guts to jack it in or the energy to look for a new one.

So it was with great reluctance that Kev walked down to the photo studio at the appointed hour. He walked so slowly that he was in danger of being arrested for causing an obstruction. When he reached the studio the others were obviously not impressed, impatiently tapping their watches as he entered.

Thankfully he didn’t have to change shirts, but it took the photographer and his boy over 30 minutes to put them all in the frame. Finally the time had come.

‘Cheese’ rang out from the assembled employees, but it was not Brie or Stilton more a fake triangular cheese or a babybel.

Everyone knew it was 3 days until the photo arrived at the office. In the old days a huge box would arive with the prints but these days they were sent  electronically. But this year it was different; on the third day nothing appeared. Then early on the fourth day everyone got the same email telling them there had been a problem with the exposure and the photo was delayed and might need to be retaken. Everyone except Kev, who was nowhere to be seen.