Friday 11 April 2014

Train in Vain




Three minutes, three minutes to get from the metro to the platform, it was at least a five minute run, there was no chance Dennis could ever make it, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying. He hared up the stairs, his suitcase knocking his knees as he did so, then he sprinted across the forecourt of the station. Sweat was dripping from his brow as he climbed the stairs to the platform, but to his great relief the train was still there, He climbed aboard at the first available door and then started the traipse through the carriages looking for his seat. He flopped down with great relief, his breath heavy, his shirt damp but at least he was on the train.
Dennis relaxed in his seat took a long drag of water and closed his eyes, letting the rocking motion of the train sooth away the stress of the journey to the station. He should have been in plenty of time but the broken down tram and then the stray dog had caused havoc. He knew he couldn’t afford to miss this train so he was chuffed to have made it - even if it was only just. There’s something about nearly missing a train that makes the whole journey so much more pleasurable. He could hear the voice of the American woman 4 seats in front, telling stories about armed robberies, the man on the phone arranging a meeting for later that day was talking to the whole carriage, while the tsk tsk tsk of music from the girl with headphones was unbelievably loud, but for once the noise didn’t upset him. He was on the train and that was all that mattered.
The train rattled along merrily, first through open fields with the occasional deer or rabbit to spot and then through the green and brown valleys with the rundown industrial buildings lining the track and bubbling river racing the train. Dennis snoozed a little, watched a little and then snoozed a little more enjoying the opportunity to do nothing, to be no one, no responsibility no cares, let the train take the strain.
It didn’t feel like two and a half hours had passed but the train was already rolling into Brno station. It was  when Dennis stood up and busied himself ready to get off that he first had the panic attack. He didn’t want to leave the train, he felt safe here, secure, outside was a big, bad ugly world. He wished he could go all the way to Budapest and beyond. His hand froze on the handle of his case, his knees felt week, sweat reappeared on his brow. In a trance-like state he got off the train and headed down the platform. He was on autopilot; doing things because he knew he should not because he wanted to.
‘Taxi, you wanna taxi?’ Dennis looked up startled by the voice, did he want a taxi? He didn’t know. He looked around him, he was outside Brno station, the sun was shining and crowds of people were bustling around. A taxi driver was looking at him and his case waiting for a response. But Dennis didn’t have one. Dennis looked down at the same case, why did he have it? What was in it? What was he doing here? Why was he in Brno? He shook his head trying to remember but he couldn’t. His mind was blank. He’d been sure he had to get to Brno, he knew it was essential he got the train that he’d so nearly missed, but now as he stood here in the sunshine, he didn’t have a clue why. He tried to place himself back at home trying to see if that jolted his memory, but nothing. Was he here for work? pleasure? both? He didn’t have a clue.  The taxi driver had lost interest in him now, looking for someone else to ferry. Dennis shrugged his shoulders and headed back inside the station, noted that the train to Prague was due any minute and wearily made his way to the platform and climbed aboard. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, it was time to go home.








6 comments:

  1. oh, how well this story feeds my melancholy....:) but maybe this train is not in vain... maybe sometimes you have to go far away in order to realize this is not the way... great story (and made me rhyme:))

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  2. maybe that's the allegory of our hopes and desires? you want something or someone very much, do everything to get it, and when you finally get hold of it, it turns out to be something empty, not worth the effort you put and time spent...

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  3. Is that a story of fear of the unknown? Do we panic when a new opportunity appears on the horizon? Do we choose to go to our own safety and comfort zone?

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  4. This story is 'vertigo' of feeling as living out of a suitcase forever, even when there's a home and that's cos home is where heart is....Mine is split, so I feel safer on the journey, the search, the path. contradictorily, the comfy zone is the no stop

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  5. are u scared?

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  6. today's Rollecoster's story reminded me about this one as it has a similar atmpsphere of paranoia and anxiety and the feeling of getting lost, finding yourself in something like a black time hole...

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