The Kiss

What a day! What a shitty day! A day that Georgie was glad to put behind her.  The day had started badly when she’d realised she’d left her headphones at home. That meant for the whole day she had to listen to the soundtrack of the town and office, rather than the soundtrack of her MP3 shuffle feature; there was no skip button in real life. Then there were the boring meetings, the shitty appraisal with her shitty boss (which had gone well but she hated the way he looked at her), and finally the cancelled date with Erik. About the only thing to go right was that against all odds she’d made it to her train which amazingly was only two minutes late and incredibly upon which she’d managed to find a seat. Living at the last station was a pain in the neck in terms of the time it took her to get home but it was perfect on days like these. It meant she could snooze gently without the risk of missing her stop. She closed her eyes and prepared to let the gentle motion of the train ease her journey home.

‘I love you,’ The voice was male but delivered in a childish tone. Georgie opened one eye to see a 30 something couple staring at each other in the close confines of the train seat opposite. She closed her eye and tried to get comfortable.

‘Love you too.’ The voice sounded like a Barbie doll despite the woman being 30. Georgie opened the other eye. She would do anything not to have to hear either of those two sickening voices again.

‘Love you more.’ The man said.

‘Prove it.’

Why hadn’t she brought her headphones? She longed for those headphones, they would give her blessed relief from this torture. She was even wondering if missing this train might have been better. But worse was to come because to prove it Ken put his tongue down Barbie’s throat and proceeded to kiss her so noisily it was uncomfortable for everyone else in the carriage. It was a real get a room moment.

Georgie tutted loudly, others tutted loudly but their passive aggression went unnoticed by the amorous couple. The lovebirds sounded like pigs at feeding time with their slurping and grunting and moaning. Georgie would have given them a whack with her umbrella if she hadn’t forgotten it along with the headphones.

Georgie noticed he had a ring on his finger but she didn’t. He was married to someone else. Right, she was going to get even. As subtly as she could she manoeuvred her phone in to a position to get a photo of the couple and then put it on Twitter. ‘Male cheating on his wife, let’s name and shame. #cheaters’ she wrote. Then she closed her eyes again and tried to ignore the merry couple. But it was impossible, the slurping ruined any prospect of sleep. She checked her phone - her tweet had been shared over 50 times already and there were at least 25 retweets suggesting names and at least 10 of those were the same name. She smiled to herself. That would teach him.

To her great releif as the train rolled in to the next station the pair made to get off.

‘Hey don’t forget we’re stopping at the jewellers.’ The woman said her voice back to normal.

‘Oh yeah, they should have adjusted your wedding ring by now.’ He said also sounding like a grown up.

Georgie felt a flush of red rise up her face as she desperately tried to undo the undoable.