Superman

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Clark lives in a dream world, my dream world. He’s my best friend, my confidant, my soul mate.  I don’t do anything without consulting him first, and to be honest, thus far he's always given me sage advice.  The only problem with Clark, if you see it as a problem, is that he doesn’t exist. Most people grow out of imaginary best friends when they get to about 5 or 6, some linger on to 9 or 10, but I was 35 last birthday and I have Clark.

He isn’t a lifelong best friend, he doesn’t come from childhood. In fact I can’t remember having an imaginary friend back then. No, Clark only came along when I moved out from my wife and into this two bedroom flat in Cardiff Bay. It was meant to a new start, my little bachelor pad but it never felt right until Clark appeared.  The flat was nice, but it missed the hustle and bustle of the family home. It felt empty and sterile reminding me I was alone, that my wife had kicked me out and moved the local butcher in.

To fill the space I started talking to myself, but to be honest I was lousy company, I was drunk half the time and when I was sober I was just too damned depressing. What I needed was a happy go lucky flat mate. Someone who would be there when I needed him, but who knew when to leave me alone. But the problem was I couldn’t bear actually living with someone, being grumpy because they hadn’t washed up or cleaned the bath, or having to listen to them moan about their boss or complain about missing the bus in the rain.  So Clark was perfect, he moved in to  the spare room, sorry Clark’s room, about six months ago and has  been here ever since.  

I bet you’re judging me now aren’t you? You probably think I’m a bit doolally. Well maybe I am, but how is Clark any different from your dog or your wife? You talk to them when you know deep down they don’t understand you, don’t listen to you or simply don’t care. But at least I am not cleaning up their shit or being humiliated by them in public. At least I ‘m taking positive steps to improve my life, even if they are a little unconventional.