Thursday 4 June 2015

Birdsong

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Why did they call it birdsong? There was nothing tuneful about it. The repetitive squawking of the dawn chorus was scratching lines across my brain. I wouldn't mind if it was dawn, but it was 7 minutes past 3 and they'd already been at it for at least 20 minutes. Get some fucking sleep I muttered as I turned over and tried to make myself comfortable again; was I talking to the birds or myself? Today was the day; the day I'd been dreading since the date had been set. Today was my wedding day. But it wasn't nerves that was keeping me awake, nor was it the sound of the birds screeching their monotonous tune. What was keeping me awake was the dark, dirty secret that I'd kept suppressed since I’d met Lucinda some two years before. A dirty secret that meant I really shouldn’t be getting married. You see, I was already married.
Don’t get me wrong I'd never lied to Lucinda. She knew I had been married but she'd never asked me if I’d divorced my wife, she’d just kind of taken it for granted that I had. After all I called her my ex-wife, so everyone just believed it was official.
Lucinda was a modern woman, it was her that asked me for a drink, her who suggested moving in together and it was her who proposed. When she asked me to marry her, she'd been so excited by my yes answer that she'd not heard my but.
I am sure any man will tell you that as soon as a proposal has been accepted things slip out of your control at an alarming speed. Before I knew it the date had been set, the hotel booked and the priest primed. Operation big day was in full swing and I was powerless to apply the brakes.
Another fine mess I’d got myself in to, what was I going to do? Could I be a bigamist and hope for the best? But didn't bigamists go to jail? I didn’t want to go to jail. Maybe I could be the one who spoke now and didn't hold their peace; owning up to my deception but that would kind of ruin Lou’s big day. Or could I creep out of bed now and disappear in to the night, running away from my problems. But if turning up and ruining the wedding would wreck it for Lucinda not turning up was even worse. Let's face it none of the options were ideal.
To hell with it! I couldn't ruin the dream wedding she’d been planning for months. I had to go through with it, surely she'd understand, I just had to hope the authorities would be understanding too.
It’s amazing how well you sleep when you’ve made a decision; it was like my cares floated away on the birdsong as I drifted off to sleep. Now I was feeling as fresh as a daisy standing in the front row of the church waiting for Lucinda. She was running a little late but all brides do that don’t they? On the outside I was relaxed, smiling, enjoying the occasion but inside I was churning up. What the hell was I doing? I was going to be a bigamist. I looked at my watch; Lucinda was now 15 minutes late, the priest looked a little concerned. I looked across at Lou’s mum, she shrugged, but then Keri, Lou’s best friend and maid of honour, came hurrying down the aisle. She took me by the arm and led me to one side.
‘She’s got cold feet,’ Keri said. ‘She’s not coming.’
‘What?’ I replied, I managed to refrain from doing a fist pump.
‘She says she can’t marry you right now.’ Keri repeated. The priest came over and put an arm on my shoulder, he’d heard what Keri said.
‘Shall I tell the congregation?’ he said.

‘Yes please,’ I said, trying to supress a smile. I put my head in my hands, the guests thought I was crying, but I was probably the only groom jilted at the alter that was laughing. I was laughing the laugh of a relieved man.

1 comment:

  1. Petra Goláňová5 June 2015 at 16:49

    I like these lines:
    ‘Yes please,’ I said, trying to supress a smile. I put my head in my hands, the guests thought I was crying, but I was probably the only groom jilted at the alter that was laughing. I was laughing the laugh of a relieved man.

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